Celebritards

David Furnish reveals new waxwork of Elton John

Posted on: October 20, 2010

It was only AFTER writing that headline that I realised that the figure in question is not infact Madame Tussauds’ latest inhabitant, but the rocket man himself.

Oh dear Elton, what have you done? Well, that’s a pretty obvious one, you’ve allowed Sharon Osbourne to give you her plastic surgeon’s phone number. Such a fitting title for a doctor that looks like he literally incases his patient’s faces in plastic.

However, let us be positive (as they were promoting the Elton John AIDS Foundation). Nobody can deny the health benefits of looking like you’ve melted a Chinese takeaway container onto your coupon. Neither of them will ever be able to take up smoking or use sunbeds, as there is a high chance they would start dripping onto their Louboutins.

DID MICHAEL JACKSON TEACH US NOTHING? Nobody over the age of 45 should ever aspire to be Barbie or Action Man. It will end in tears. Or severe facial swelling because polypropylene blocks tear ducts.

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