Must. Resist. Cowell. Getting. Tapped. By. A. Queen. Jokes.

Posted on: May 18, 2010

First of all, sorry for the brief hiatus.  I went all B. Spears for the exam period: lots of slack-crotched sweatpants, fried chicken, occasional breakdowns and plenty bad hair days.

Back to business then. Simon Cowell is getting a knighthood. Scowl Cowell was recommended by Gordon Brown just before he departed for pastures new (in between shitting behind skirting boards and sewing calamari and langoustine into the curtains at No.10).

So Mama Cowell will be dusting off her Primark 2-piece and heading up the Palace to watch lito Simon get rewarded for all the good he has done for our country. Like Michelle McManus. Chico. Jedward. And being Paula Abdul’s enabler for best part of a decade.

Hey Simon- what’s that joke you can’t tell closeted gay people? Oh, you don’t know? Exactly.

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