Celebritards

Jordan all over the Oscars (she heard they were old bald men that get loads of press coverage)

Posted on: March 8, 2010

I’ll see that nice hair and raise you those corsages. In Oscars Fashion Poker there can only be one winner. YOU! You get to sit on a sofa in jeans slating women that haven’t eaten for weeks, have sequins and corset bones cutting off their circulation, and have spent months preparing for that one picture that will grace glossy pages worldwide.

And all it takes is one blink, a retubed sunbed, or even one guy in penguin suit who doesn’t realise this is your moment and ruins it by standing in the background, to bring the whole thing crashing down like John Mayers stock.

Jordan/Katie Price/Katie Reid/the devil incarnate (if we are to believe Peter ‘Insania’ Andre) rocked up to Elton’s Oscars bash yesterday looking… nice?!. Chignon was a welcome change from her ‘yes, I can afford 6 months of your wages in hair extensions’ flowing locks, and the dress itself is a nice colour and cut. A little radioactive on the epidermis side, and the flowers are slightly Art Attack but on the whole I think most bitchy journalists are forgetting whose party she was going to- an OAP Lord gaga with more camp than Auschwitz.

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