Celebritards

Does her carer know she’s out this late and unattended?

Posted on: February 21, 2010

Did Kristen Stewart’s Bafta award speech strike anyone else as a cause for pity/concern/derision? Seriously I felt bad. I want to organise a telethon so she never has to be in public again as it clearly distresses her so much. She accepted that award like she was coming down off of a 10 day ketamine binge and only left the K-hole when she got to the podium.

I’m not saying she is on drugs. I’m saying she should be. She should look into it. What with Michael Jackson and Brittany Murphy ducking out there must be some cracking deals on all that surplus.

Only thing more offensive than her verbal retardation (Nicholas Hoult was robbed more than a drunk tourist during Edinburgh Festival) was the sight of big R-Patz doling out some award. He looked r-a-n-k. Like he was wearing Britney Spears perfume. Do I mean ‘Curious’? No I mean the smell of fried chicken, tears, cigarettes and regret.

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