Posts Tagged ‘Elton John’
It was only AFTER writing that headline that I realised that the figure in question is not infact Madame Tussauds’ latest inhabitant, but the rocket man himself.
Oh dear Elton, what have you done? Well, that’s a pretty obvious one, you’ve allowed Sharon Osbourne to give you her plastic surgeon’s phone number. Such a fitting title for a doctor that looks like he literally incases his patient’s faces in plastic.
However, let us be positive (as they were promoting the Elton John AIDS Foundation). Nobody can deny the health benefits of looking like you’ve melted a Chinese takeaway container onto your coupon. Neither of them will ever be able to take up smoking or use sunbeds, as there is a high chance they would start dripping onto their Louboutins.
DID MICHAEL JACKSON TEACH US NOTHING? Nobody over the age of 45 should ever aspire to be Barbie or Action Man. It will end in tears. Or severe facial swelling because polypropylene blocks tear ducts.
Posted March 8, 2010on:
I’ll see that nice hair and raise you those corsages. In Oscars Fashion Poker there can only be one winner. YOU! You get to sit on a sofa in jeans slating women that haven’t eaten for weeks, have sequins and corset bones cutting off their circulation, and have spent months preparing for that one picture that will grace glossy pages worldwide.
And all it takes is one blink, a retubed sunbed, or even one guy in penguin suit who doesn’t realise this is your moment and ruins it by standing in the background, to bring the whole thing crashing down like John Mayers stock.
Jordan/Katie Price/Katie Reid/the devil incarnate (if we are to believe Peter ‘Insania’ Andre) rocked up to Elton’s Oscars bash yesterday looking… nice?!. Chignon was a welcome change from her ‘yes, I can afford 6 months of your wages in hair extensions’ flowing locks, and the dress itself is a nice colour and cut. A little radioactive on the epidermis side, and the flowers are slightly Art Attack but on the whole I think most bitchy journalists are forgetting whose party she was going to- an OAP Lord gaga with more camp than Auschwitz.